Generally, one can expect to listen to mantras being chanted around the deceaseds body at a house funeral. It may work for a coworker or friend who has lost their spouse. Ask the person who will be officiating at the service for any tips on preparing and delivering a eulogy. It is typical for the family to decorate the house with icons of saints, burning incense and a single candle memorializing the deceased. Ask for his/her input and a checklist of what needs to be decided and completed. Hare Krishna. 1. Because people will be standing, it is customary to keep the ceremony brief. It's best to stick with their request at such a sensitive time. Just letting her know that you are thinking about her can be helpful. It could be anything from a gift of fooda casserole, a fruit basket, or some brownies for the family and their visitorsto an offer to house out-of-town relatives or friends. It is also key to building positive karma for the deceased. It is important to avoid language bloopers like hearty condolences, a common error in this part of the world. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: So, the actual funeral takes place at the deceaseds home, although actual events can be considered a wake according to western standards because of its short span. Hare Krishna. Visitors are expected to bring fruit. If its not possible to visit there, then make a phone call. Would she like to have a reception for some or all of the attendees of the memorial service? The truth is, each family is unique, and a visitor will have little idea about the actual pains that the family went through to keep the person healthy and alive. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will be delivering it at the service. You should not bring flowers to a Hindu funeral. If you are a friend of a friend: Send an email or handwritten note at your convenience. It's best to wait until the funeral service is over to greet the family, unless they're greeting people before the service. Drop her a note periodically, or even an e-mail, to let her know you're thinking of her. We are very sorry for your loss. One needs to observe at least 10 to 30 days of mourning. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. During the thirteen-day period of mourning following the death, the presence of friends and family helps create positive karma to help prepare the soul for its next incarnation. It's worth noting that some communities and faiths have an open casket at the visitation and at the funeral service. Others go the extra mile and debate whether the person might actually make it to heaven or settle for hell. I am sorry for your loss. The length of the mourning period in Korea is largely dependent on the individual and is traditionally for 100 days. Ultimately, Hindus believe that through praxis, accumulation of good karma, and divine grace, moksha (liberation) can be achieved after death. or the universal soul. Here are some thoughts and guidelines when considering a personal visit at the funeral home: Upon arrival, go to the family and express a simple condolence. Every live session is customized for the client and built from our extensive menu of training topics. If you do, it may cause an annoyance as the family or funeral director will have to . Blaming the family for not choosing another hospital or doctor is a common and futile exercise that occurs at bereaved homes. The mourning period lasts for 10 days after the death. The funeral home will have chairs for the family graveside on the day of the funeral. That said, its the intent alongside the words that mean the most to nearly anyone. This is made worse when people pick the phone up and start talking at the top of their voice as though they were at a party. Whilst it is favourable to do this within 24 hours, it is widely accepted amongst the Hindu community that the administrative process will take longer in the UK. Choose from trainer trainings, seminars, live-online workshops, and self-paced online courses, to best meet your etiquette training needs. One of the worst bloopers and a bane of modern technology when not done right, taking unsolicited photographs is a total no-no at a home where death has just occurred. Some people have the knack for amplifying or worsening the existing sorrow by dropping pessimistic remarks such as Ohshe was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her!, How sad it is for her children! When in doubt, silence is the best option. subject to our Terms of Use. Traditional rites of Hindu funerals dictate that this ceremony should only be attended by men. Visitors are also welcome during this period. How can people of the Hindu faith be supported when grieving? This short message gets to the essence of the Hindu faith in just a few short words. There is an intense period of mourning immediately following the cremation or burial service which lasts thirteen days. She lived her life to its fullest, so we should celebrate her life to honor her legacy. (1995). After the shraddha ceremony, the family usually returns to work after 1-3 weeks. Sadly, politics trumps principles in Kerala! Some people are able to manage the delivery of a eulogy with aplomb; others can't even bear to think about doing so. Mourners dress, eat, and behave austerely during the ten to thirty days after the death and before the shraddha ceremony. Sharma, A. This may include feelings of shock, sadness, and even guilt. While visiting, people tend to get drawn into conversations unrelated to the bereavement, at times even catching up on gossip. There is no official time frame for writing notes of appreciation to those who have extended their condolences and kindness to you. Her startling determination to do exactly the opposite, was amazing.". His commitment to creating a better world was apparent in every project he started. Throughout this time, families may display a picture of their loved one, adorned with a garland of flowers, somewhere in their house. Here is a list of dos and donts, International Film Festival of Kerala 2017 | Kerala Film festival | IFFK Awards | Onmanorama, International Film Festival Of India 2017 | Goa Film festival | IFFI Awards | Onmanorama, Why rolling your eyes at feminists isnt helping anyone, Transcendence of Death in the Harry Potter Series, Migrant workers send home 4 per cent of Kerala's GDP, Radhika Thilak, that gentle sweetness, is gone much before her time, Dont disturb, Supt. May God guide your sons soul to attain the right path. If you wonder what Hindu funeral traditions are like, they can be different from traditional American funerals, but the core fundamentals remain the same. Various worldwide locations connote different customs and norms. If they are in hospital, it is helpful to inform the chaplain about their spiritual needs (with the patients permission). Everyday Health | Visiting a family who just lost a loved one? Because of the short cremation time, there is no requirement for embalming. Exchange stories about your loved one. 9. Candles and flowers decorate the wake , as well as the funeral service and the burial ground. They'll surely understand. Good and bad manners do exist about visiting the bereaved, albeit with some variation between cultures. For a parent, sons and daughters are equally precious. However, it is usually the eldest son who presides at the cremation. It's a good idea to have a friend read over your eulogy. Since this is such a personal request it should be made, if at all possible, either in person or with a phone call. Another common mistake is to pass remarks on how the family could have taken better care of the person who passed. While every group has slightly different funeral practices, theres a general set of funeral rites that all follow in this community. In general, it is never inappropriate to dress in a way that reflects respect and sorrow for the somber moments of mourning a loss. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Organ donation is accepted and encouraged in the Hindu faith and should be discussed with the family when appropriate. Brief words like I am sorry for your loss or You are in our thoughts and prayers are both meaningful and comforting. This reincarnation belief provides the base for Hindu funeral rites. In our cosmopolitan society, its not uncommon to know or work with people from all over the world. There will be things to be done at the home, such as taking care of guests or handling phone calls. 12. 8. Do not grieve for his body, for his soul is eternal. When attending a senior persons funeral, enquiring publicly about the age of the deceased is inappropriate, whereas nodding in approval of the stated age is downright rude. May he rest in peace. There, husbands and wives increasingly share household roles as dual-earners. All Rights Reserved. During the ceremony, non-Hindus can sit quietly. Unfortunately, while social topics like table manners get discussed at home or at school, most of us have not received any formal training on this sombre topic. The Spirit cannot be cut, burned, wet, or dried. Our Religions: The Seven World Religions Introduced by Preeminent Scholars From Each Tradition. 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One should not send flowers or gifts to the Hindu funeral. When it comes to jewelry, they should not wear anything flashy and keep it light. May Lord Krishna grant you strength. Are you sure he is dead?, You are lucky you have one other child who is alive!, I used to tell her to eat less and exercise more often. If there is no relationship with the family, introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship with the deceased. During the ceremony, the last food is offered and flowers are arranged around the body. For some cultures, a soft hug is appropriate, while for others a gentle squeeze of the hand will do. The fees for the advice of an attorney should not be compared to the fees of do-it-yourself online
Visitations are usually held one or two days prior to the funeral service during a fixed set of hours. Traditional stereotypes have shifted in other, more suburban areas of India. After you hear about someones death, it is pretty customary to visit the deceased family at their place immediately for offering your sympathy. While silence is perfectly acceptable, a few well-chosen, soft words of comfort can help ease the pain. The soul is neither born, nor does it ever die; nor having once existed, does it ever cease to exist. Sometimes, guests also attend this ceremony. When some one dies his/her jeevan will remain for ten days from the day of death at the place where aparakarmas are being performed. However, they can participate in the chanting of mantras taking place thereafter. Everyone one of us was inspired simply by knowing Avindash. At a funeral, either the casket is carried by professionals provided by the funeral home, in which case the honorary pallbearers follow, two by two, or they flank the casket, as it is wheeled down the aisle. Deepest condolence messages very helpful in grief. This forum contains old posts that have been closed. Customs vary by tradition, but are conducted by a local priest and involve prayers, scripture readings and chanting. Sympathy & Funeral Etiquette for Different Religions - Petal Talk It is unborn, eternal, permanent, and primeval. The body of the deceased should be released as quickly as possible to enable the family to prepare for the funeral. Will it be a private or open service? If there is a line waiting to see the family, keep your thoughts and comments brief. The person who made the comment might not have meant badly, but wrongful words and actions can cause a lot of hurt in these delicate situations. On the one-year anniversary of the death of the loved one, a memorial service is held in the family home. Bereavement support organisations for all faiths, Useful bereavement resources for health and care professionals, Useful Good Thinking bereavement resources for all faiths. We hope her journey is comforted by Lord Krishna (or Lord Rama). Unexpected death, especially of the violent type can result in an emotionally supercharged situation, requiring us to tread very carefully to avoid offending anyone. Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. Offering Condolences: The Right Things to Say at a Funeral Beliefnet is a lifestyle website providing feature editorial content around the topics of inspiration, spirituality, health, wellness, love and family, news and entertainment. Your mother had a happy death. It could even work over various social media platforms or a sympathy card. However, they include prayers, rice balls and flowers are arranged around the body, a lamp is kept near the bodys head, food is offered, and water is sprinkled over the body. Today, many take their ashes to a nearby place to their home. When a person dies, their atman (spirit or soul) is reincarnated into a different physical body or life form (human, animal, insect or plant). Such words are of little use to someone who has just lost a loved one. At that time, one can bright gifts like fruit. For many people who have experienced a death, it can be helpful to know that their closest friends and family are thinking of them and are available to help. Close with warm words, such as "With deepest sympathy." The urge to dish out free advice and meaningless platitudes must be resisted. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: A funeral/wake at the family's place. Find Appropriate Sympathy & Condolence Baskets. 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When Is The Right Time To Offer Condolences? | Everplans There is a tendency to judge whether the person deserved to die the way he or she did. I remember how she encouraged me to get good grades and once even offered me a ride home after school. advice. In many locales, even those who don't know each other will rally to assist bereaved neighbors in some way. Though a useful principle to follow universally, it is most handy while visiting the bereaved. The closer your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died, the sooner you'll want to reach out. A mourner may return to a normal work and social schedule after this ceremony. Usually, Hindu funerals take place within a single day and sometimes, two days after the deaths time. The traditions and rites of Hindu funerals may vary. Available to ship anywhere in the U.S. After the cremation service, the family will return home and perform Hindu death rituals such as ceremonial bathing. A "shraddha" ceremony. Sometimes termed the Art of Presence, one of the best gifts one can give is the gift of time. Through cremation, the five basic elements, known as thepanchbhut, are returned to the universe, signifying the maintenance of cosmic equilibrium. A common blunder by well-meaning visitors is to try and compare with their own limited experiences. Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. It is not uncommon to hear one person pass a negative remark about the deceased persons character, soon to be joined by other likeminded people who fuel the conversation into a full-fledged debate. Perhaps your friends child died as a teenager and didnt have a chance to go to university or get married for many reasons. One must specifically avoid words that trivialise the event, some hilarious examples being: I cant believe he is deadhe looks like he might just get up any minute! Hindu Funeral & Death Rituals: A Complete Guide - Memorial Planning Not attending religious functions or celebrations. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. Unless we actively keep our phones in silent mode, a loud and abrupt musical ringtone tearing through the silence can be quite unsettling during the visit. 4. Women need to dress conservatively with knees and arms covered. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. Any distractions must be shrugged away until we are out of sight, and away from earshot. The important thing is that you have received comfort from the many who have helped you. Is there a member of the clergy or other person she has in mind for performing the service? Hindus believe cremation is the fastest way for aiding the soul to escape the body. It is important to identify a persons religious inclinations at the start of their care and to find out what they need when approaching the end of life. If you're completely overwhelmed by the prospect, and feel that you must decline, it's okay to do so. We have the perfect wedding, graduation or housewarming gift for someone special in your life. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. Only one rule should guide you in writing sympathy messages: say what you truly feel. During the weeks and months of loneliness that follow, especially after the crowds disperse, the bereaved person might feel that the world is avoiding them. Make a list of all the ways your loved one enriched . Funeralflowerssingapore.com always satisfies increasing requirements of customers. It's up to you. It is believed that free expression will keep the body healthy, instead of bound by mourning and unresolved anger. Relate stories that show your friend in a positive light, and handle any humor with care. They can wear open-toe shoes. Your clear expression of sympathy and caring for your coworker is what matters the most. Additionally, they are not to touch or go near the family shrine. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. Instagram. Sometimes, it is just for the family. If You're More Casually Acquainted With The Person Who Died Or The Bereaved We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. I remember my neighbour had a much more terrible time with the same disease. However, mourners can check with the funeral director or family for finding out whats appropriate for that particular funeral. is the best and appropriate choice. The family would have got over the immediate grief and anger by then, and will be receptive to conversation. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. There are several ways to show honor and to respect the memory of the departed, including visiting in person. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. Upon hearing the news of a young woman who died in a car crash, a purported well-wisher arrived at the parents home and declared: What sort of parents would allow a young woman to drive a car alone to work at night? Such words only deepen the pain and guilt that the parents are already suffering. All Rights Reserved. This link will open in a new window. After that, the body is moved to the cremation place from the home, where the cremation ceremony takes place. Asking the person not to cry is like choking a person who is already gasping for air. Hindu Quotes of Condolence and Healing. We cannot give you customized advice on your situation or needs, which would require the service
India Today Web Desk, I. Is 'Leela' an appropriate tamil brahmin name for a baby girl ? I will be attending the funeral of a Hindu colleague. Not reading or reciting anything from the holy scriptures. For instance, the death of a teenager is perceived differently from that of a 90-year-old. When writing sympathy cards for Hindu loved ones, geography plays a vital role. Although Hindus take solace in their belief in reincarnation and liberation, they still experience grief. It is customary to visit within 10 days the family of the person who passed away. In the Southern state of Tamil Nadu, messaging can go one of two ways when losing a parent. Such decisions are often based upon the circumstances of the family and the level of their commitment to the traditions of Hinduism. When someone you know has experienced the death, it's a natural impulse to want to reach out and offer sympathy, condolences, and support. There are almost never any honorary pallbearers at the funeral of a Christian woman, but at a Jewish funeral both men and women may have honorary pallbearers. Hindu Funeral Traditions - Renaissance Funeral Home Most of the Hindu mourning rituals performed are designed to promote the free expression of emotions. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. Everyone has to wear white, including the family members and guests. Work from your dream country on a remote visa, A peek into where heads of various countries reside across the globe, This Diwali, try our tasty banana pudding recipe, Heal Thy Self | Early warning signs you could be in an abusive relationship, On yoga day, Krishnaprabha is an inspiration. Unfortunately, when a son dies, some people come up with public statements along the lines of Theyve lost their only son which is an unfair statement that reeks of gender bias. Can I get anything for you?" Catholicism: Periods of Mourning | Grief | eCondolence.com The bereaved person could be venting out emotions and if we simply give them our ears, it will be comforting. If you decide you want to do it, then write your talk from your heart. And there are loved ones who suffer from their loss. Surely, a card or note to the mother would be welcomed as well. You can also donate financially if you can. what to say to someone who has experienced a death, How to Express Sympathy: What to Say and What Not to Say. And while most of the information provided above mixes trust with credible sources, theres such variety to the Hindu culture and faith systems that what works in one scenario may not work in another. A compassionate gesture is often all thats needed while visiting the acutely bereaved. Similarly, theres no understanding of heaven or hell, but there is the desire to achieve Nirvana. Funeral Customs around the World - Eastern Europe