Why does my brother always attack my knees playfully? Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino? Check out more bad dad jokes from Twitter that will have you chuckling. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} Submitted by Rita Hickey, A little boy was sitting beside me in the hospital waiting room. Whats wrong?, The head monk with tears in his eyes replies, The word is celebrate!, Two guys were out walking their dogs on a hot daywhen they pass by a bar. Amazing! the man says. Could you give a poor man something to eat? asks the hobo. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING. Its torturous. Let her spell small animals, not big ones, said her mom. 25 Clever Jokes That'll Make You Sound Smart | Reader's Digest Thats where we come in! He knows when to stop.Submitted by Ken Zavislik, The manager of a jewellery store nabs a shoplifter trying to steal a necklace. He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. But again the camera flashed. I never even listen when you tell me them. He was just going through a stage. He replied, Only if she starts hanging out at hardware stores and buys a lot of power tools.. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor. Hes done it again!, When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent-up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. Why couldn't the defensive football player pass his test in school? However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you do not understand English, press 2. Recording on an Australian tax help line. When the Tooth fairy comes to your house she takes your tooth and gives you money. Exit signs? Keep rolling your eyes. What other woman? Adam shot back. None, I replied. New to Amazon. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. So now I got me a wooden peg., When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. Tig Notaro, comedian. The jury comes back with the verdict. Alyshah Mehdi, a 19-year-old from Karachi, Pakistan, has been friends with a guy named Shayyan for a while, but lately, they've had "beef going on" between them, she told BuzzFeed News. How do you know? My dog told me.Submitted by Sourabh Bhatia, A man with a huge grin approaches a priest. Good heavens, the first doctor said to the second, look at that poor crippled fellow., Yeah, answered the second doctor. I normally have to run to catch the 11:30 bus. She made a mistake, however, when she accused her neighbour George of being an alcoholic after spotting his pickup parked in front of a bar one afternoon. Your husband fell into a vat of beer and drowned., Mrs. Smith wails, Oh, the poor man! 25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darling Submitted by C.A. Submitted by Chuck Welch, Proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the young man led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong. Find out the 10 things you should never say to a Canadian. No, it doesnt. Yes, it does. Father asks him, So, you were at school today, right? Son: Yeah. Detector: Beep. Son: OK, OK, I was at the movies. Detector: Beep. Son: Alright, I went for a beer with my friends. Father: What?! Tomorrow doesnt look good either., 37. Could fuck up a two car funeral. Youre drunk.. I want to achieve it by not dying. Woody Allen, The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. You Couldn't Handle Me Even If I Came With Instructions - Amazon.com Theres just one condition. 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners Bonnie, he says, Larry is doing fine! Why did the orthopedic doctor always put hats on the knees of his patients? But when it gets bad, I take something for it. Ken Dodd. 17. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. There was a moment of silence before the woman replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious my condition is, because this prescription is marked No Refills.Submitted by Roy Warner, An elderly gentleman walked into an upscale cocktail lounge. Submitted by Adam J. Smargon, A man at a restaurant orders Swedish meatballs. The cop replies: Then why do I smell wine?, The priest looks at the bottle and says: Good Lord! Hows it work? Watch, said the drunk. I couldnt help noticing how happy you look, she said. Please, not while Im eating.Submitted by Shirleen Slabber, I got an A on my very first university English paper. 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes I took that as my cue to outline my expanded role, and listed my actions and achievements. Your mileage may vary. 134 Likes, 22 Comments - Aidan (@diazaidanw) on Instagram: "From killer hoco proposal, to killer hoco outfits . | What did you write in the ad? his wife asks. Ill grant you three wishes, the genie says. A bowl full of mice-cream. As it happens, theres a village right over the hill where a butcher is called Murphy, the baker is named Murphy, and three widows are called Murphy. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? Since Margaret was gone several minutes, she felt the need to explain her absence to me: My friend and I arent able to spend much time together anymore because she is more decapitated than I am. Submitted by Vicki Alum, At a job review, my boss told me this year the company would compensate for inflation but that additional raises would be considered on a case-by-case basis. Do you want to get a drink? I heard you the first time! says a small, irritated voice. That's why it's helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. Snake 2: I dont know. He rubs it and instantly, a genie appears. The son comes home in the afternoon. Professor of Logic Merch: https://www.redbubble.com/people/robtzn/shop?asc=uFollow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sparkleforesst These smartlight bulb jokes are truly illuminating. I have been working as a couples therapist for 20 years, and I know how many fights begin because someone cant take a joke.. One day, the eight-year-old had a spelling bee with her sister. Daddy! I typed Bitch into my GPS and guess what? 102 Chuck Norris Jokes to Celebrate the Ultimate Badass - Men's Health But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm, he complained. Its from Uncle Ben. On her next birthday, he buys her nothing, so she phones him, furious. I choose round. Sarah Millican, My wife its difficult to say what she does. These jokes are a fantastic selection of humorous jokes about football that are clean and entertaining. Submitted by Janet Winkler, A businessman flying first class is sitting next to a parrot. No, he responded. Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember! A husband texts his wife on a frosty winter morning: Windows frozen! His wife texts back, Pour lukewarm water over it. Five minutes later he replies: Computer completely messed up now.Submitted by Catherine Hiscox. The older sister paused, then said, Spell mosquito. Im just mean and people think Im joking., 35. Dont go through life unprepared! Where did the music teacher leave her keys? The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. If you smile whilst youre giving your smartass quote, youre going to take away its power. Years back, a group of hunters from the United States came up to shoot some birds. The person on the other side of the intercom replied, Pardon me? so I repeated myself. Me: 2011. Breathe! Local man killed by falling piano. Theyre full of small bells.. Try these funny birthday jokes! Concerned, their parents took them to a psychiatrist. In fact, my name is Murphy., Aha, thought the agent, heres my man. So he whispered the secret code: The sun is shining the grass is growing the cows are ready for milking., Oh, said the farmer, youre looking for Murphy the spy. I always say Morning instead of Good Morning, because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people., 2. A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} You were looking for a piece of plastic. These smartass quotes about breakups are sure to help you out. I wanna see my real parents! 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes I couldn't put it down. You can only stalk them and hope for the best. [Read:55 funny quotes about love and all its complications], 6. I also wrote a novel and got a $50,000 advance from the publisher. Here are the funniest court cases of all time! First, lets make sure hes dead., Theres a silence, then a shot. You wont believe these crazy (but true) drive thru worker stories. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? [Read: 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing]. It can reflect how well you know your partner. 100 of the best clean jokes and one-liners One thing about Fred, his buddy says to the bartender. Then they responded, confused, Excuse me, maam, but youre at Tim Hortons. Submitted by Wendy Singedonk. Theres no menu, you only get what you deserve. Hes telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. You wont look cool if you show everyone just how happy you are with your efforts! Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! As they are walking out of the restaurant, Jenna starts to rifle through her purse to find her keys. During one visit, we were both busy with this task when the phone rang. Why are you washing it? my brother asked, perplexed. *Results not guaranteed. She seemed surprised. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as hes dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, Daddy! Tap To Copy. After several readings, I couldnt find my mistake. No pun in 10 did. The first little boy says, Ill have some @#$%^& pancakes., The mother angrily sends him to his room for cursing. How did you do it? he asked. So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! What are you? asks the cat. is saying I should be on Jeopardy! every time I answer a $200 clue that happens to be about one of my three interests. Laura Peek, comedian. 52. If you laugh at these dark jokes, youre probably a genius. A poodle and a collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. Just cock your left shoulder up a little, like this, and tuck this left lapel under your chin a bit, like this.. You wont believe these hilarious job ads actually ran! 20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes Are they afraid someone will clean them? George Carlin, My sunglasses are prescription so if theyre stolen, it becomes two people who cant see. @kimtopher22, What happens when you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN? Me: Do you think this is the right career for you? My sister would be so proud of you! she declared. Dont stick around for follow ups because youll lose the power. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. Whats it called? What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way? she demands. 45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes Whether its the swift one-liners of Tim Vine or Milton Jones, or a more traditionally structured joke, these quick-fire quips will have your friends rolling around on the floor. I nixed that one in favour of a low-tech model. (Consider yourself warned! Sir! 105 of the best short jokes and one-liners to get you laughing in seconds Youre not trying to get a laugh in most cases, youre trying to insult. Curious, he went to the store and handed the ticket to the owner, who headed to the back of the store before reappearing. Oops.Submitted by Robert Rea, Steve, a lonely bachelor, wants some company, so he buys a centipede and a small box for it to live in. Youre it! That night, Adam was fast asleep when he was awoken by Eve poking him in the chest. 50 Smartass & Sarcastic Quotes to Leave Anyone Speechless & Confused Hes only got little legs. 2. Submitted by Eric Lyden, I went to the butchers the other day and bet him $50 that he couldnt reach the meat on the top shelf. It's stopped twerking. Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application. How to be witty and win anyone over, Backhanded compliment How to react kindly or give back in kind, Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in, How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm. I steal food from humans. That's why we've rounded up that set of (clean) jokes for adults and kids alike that will have the whole family laughing. They planet. 24 Funny One-Liners to Tell at Parties - LiveAbout Nature is beautiful and so am I. The only reason Im fat is because a tiny body couldnt store all this personality.[Read: How to be funny and make people love your company], 29. She then reassured him by adding, Now, if you do everything Ive told you, you wont be with us for long.. God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams, 5. You dont want to be that person who could literally write a book about what you wish you would have said. "A thief broke into the police headquarters during the night and took all the toilets. When the waiter brings him the meal, he asks if they are genuine. Thats why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.Dick Gregory, Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. Do you own a doghouse? 41 of Bill Baileys most gleefully funny jokes and one-liners A month after Donald MacDonald started at Harvard, his mother called from Scotland. Laugh more: Corny jokes for kids ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} You'll walk away feeling victorious! If you liked that joke, youll get a kick out of these hilarious thesaurus mistakes. Shut up with the back talk, because if I wanted lip from you, Id sit on your face L.A. Casey, Dominic [Read: 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to], 11. Is that the dog were supposed to be aware of? he asks the owner. I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Dont drink that, I said. Submitted by Terry Sangster. We missed the R! One night, while we were out for supper at a Mediterranean restaurant, my sister-in-law had a question about one of the appetizers. 101 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember | Reader's Digest Hold it in. My four-year-old grandson loves picking dandelions, placing them in a glass of water and presenting then to his mom. Via Getty Images/ Dalton Rasmussen / EyeEm. I laughed at all of your jokes My love you didn't need to coax Oh, Maggie, I couldn't have tried anymore . Ten years go by and its one monks first chance. That is wrong on so many different levels. Tim Vine, A cement mixer collided with a prison van. 58 Seriously Messed Up Jokes You'll Feel Guilty Laughing At Treating those tender spotsyour own and your partnerswith reverence and care deepens trust and creates healing. Now he wont come when I call him. He said Thanks! I said Dont mention it., I was playing chess with my friend and he said, Lets make this interesting. And, of more recent coinage, for our Iraqui readers: Couldn't organise a hanging on a gallows. Submitted by Joni Krats, Working in a library, one of the tasks we have to do twice a week is call patrons about their overdue items. Check out the funniest comedies on Netflix Canada right now. Eight dollars, I answered. But I had to call you because Im in awe of his relationship with God. Sorry, Im not Adele. Why did the chicken go to the sance? Then it hit me. Next, he moves into the dining room. The priest begins: When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Ill tell you whatnever again. View a fight that stems from an ill-fated joke not as a reason to withdraw or get defensive but as a vehicle for intimacy. George ignored her and walked away. Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand. Conjunctivitis.com thats a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine. What's a cat's favorite dessert? We missed the R! He never had a chance!, The man says, I dont know about that. Driver: "Isn't it your job to tell me?". /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/, A standard British one is "You couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.". Mom: How make chicken Daughter: What? 15. 16. When your ex says, Youll never find anyone like me reply with: thats the point., 21. After a few moments, Bill says, Hurry up, Messy Bessy, we dont have all night. Jenna feels her cheeks flush and her eyes fill with tears. Except at a funeral.Demetri Martin, A guy walks into a dentists office and says, I think Im a moth., The dentist replies, You shouldnt be here. 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, Pull over!, No! the woman yelled back, Cardigan! Reddit.com, I quit my job working for Nike. The captain comes ashore and notices three huts. Teasing in and of itself is not always negativein fact, in many circumstances, it is wonderful. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} Youll just end up looking comedic and thats not what were going for here. You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing at the bottom. Now, sure. Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". I said 40. 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 64 of the funniest Seinfeld quotes to sum up everyday life 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response., That evening, the mans wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and hes in the living room. How old are you? Thirty-six.Submitted by Melissa Steginus, The other day I was thinking, I must be the most unobservant person in the world. Then I thought, Well, maybe other people are equally unobservant and I just havent noticed before.Submitted by D. Norris, I love that TV show with all the different video clips of things going disastrously wrong. Well done, you managed to deliver the perfect insult or smartass line. The sign says its okay, replied the visitor. I once had a teacher with a lazy eye. A blind man visits Texas. Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes. Later they get together. All rights reserved. 78. ._38lwnrIpIyqxDfAF1iwhcV{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);border:none;height:1px;margin:16px 0}._37coyt0h8ryIQubA7RHmUc{margin-top:12px;padding-top:12px}._2XJvPvYIEYtcS4ORsDXwa3,._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE{border-radius:100%;box-sizing:border-box;-ms-flex:none;flex:none;margin-right:8px}._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:100%;height:54px;width:54px;font-size:54px;line-height:54px}._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4{filter:blur()}.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M,.icon.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M{border-radius:100%;box-sizing:border-box;-ms-flex:none;flex:none;margin-right:8px;background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:100%;height:36px;width:36px}.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4,.icon.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4{filter:blur()}._3nzVPnRRnrls4DOXO_I0fn{margin:auto 0 auto auto;padding-top:10px;vertical-align:middle}._3nzVPnRRnrls4DOXO_I0fn ._1LAmcxBaaqShJsi8RNT-Vp i{color:unset}._2bWoGvMqVhMWwhp4Pgt4LP{margin:16px 0;font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px}.icon.tWeTbHFf02PguTEonwJD0{margin-right:4px;vertical-align:top}._2AbGMsrZJPHrLm9e-oyW1E{width:180px;text-align:center}.icon._1cB7-TWJtfCxXAqqeyVb2q{cursor:pointer;margin-left:6px;height:14px;fill:#dadada;font-size:12px;vertical-align:middle}.hpxKmfWP2ZiwdKaWpefMn{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-active);background-size:cover;background-image:var(--newCommunityTheme-banner-backgroundImage);background-position-y:center;background-position-x:center;background-repeat:no-repeat;border-radius:3px 3px 0 0;height:34px;margin:-12px -12px 10px}._20Kb6TX_CdnePoT8iEsls6{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-bottom:8px}._20Kb6TX_CdnePoT8iEsls6>*{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle}.t9oUK2WY0d28lhLAh3N5q{margin-top:-23px}._2KqgQ5WzoQRJqjjoznu22o{display:inline-block;-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;position:relative}._2D7eYuDY6cYGtybECmsxvE{-ms-flex:1 1 auto;flex:1 1 auto;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis}._2D7eYuDY6cYGtybECmsxvE:hover{text-decoration:underline}._19bCWnxeTjqzBElWZfIlJb{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;display:inline-block}._2TC7AdkcuxFIFKRO_VWis8{margin-left:10px;margin-top:30px}._2TC7AdkcuxFIFKRO_VWis8._35WVFxUni5zeFkPk7O4iiB{margin-top:35px}._1LAmcxBaaqShJsi8RNT-Vp{padding:0 2px 0 4px;vertical-align:middle}._2BY2-wxSbNFYqAy98jWyTC{margin-top:10px}._3sGbDVmLJd_8OV8Kfl7dVv{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;margin-top:8px;word-wrap:break-word}._1qiHDKK74j6hUNxM0p9ZIp{margin-top:12px}.Jy6FIGP1NvWbVjQZN7FHA,._326PJFFRv8chYfOlaEYmGt,._1eMniuqQCoYf3kOpyx83Jj,._1cDoUuVvel5B1n5wa3K507{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;margin-top:12px;width:100%}._1eMniuqQCoYf3kOpyx83Jj{margin-bottom:8px}._2_w8DCFR-DCxgxlP1SGNq5{margin-right:4px;vertical-align:middle}._1aS-wQ7rpbcxKT0d5kjrbh{border-radius:4px;display:inline-block;padding:4px}._2cn386lOe1A_DTmBUA-qSM{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:10px}._2Zdkj7cQEO3zSGHGK2XnZv{display:inline-block}.wzFxUZxKK8HkWiEhs0tyE{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);cursor:pointer;text-align:left;margin-top:2px}._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0{display:none}.yobE-ux_T1smVDcFMMKFv{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px}._1vPW2g721nsu89X6ojahiX{margin-top:12px}._pTJqhLm_UAXS5SZtLPKd{text-transform:none} Thanks for the compliment [Read: 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback], 48. This particular genie, however, states that she can deliver only one wish, not the standard three. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Steven Wright, 33. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde, 42. Submitted by Andre Batista. She has published three web humor books and six calendars, including You Had One Job! He wasnt familiar with royal etiquette, so he decided to simply follow the Queens lead and hope for the best.